“She’s not my type. I mean I’m not going to judge her by her looks or anything, but let’s just say that I think that someplace in New York City, a funeral home might be missing a corpse.” – another sexist and necrophobic statement by Donald Trump about victim E. Jean Carroll.
I was lucky enough to chat with E. Jean Carroll, Trump’s latest sex assault victim who has been speaking out on CNN and other reliable news outlets about just how it feels to be a terrified victim.
“My book publishers and publicist said that I should say I think people misunderstood when I said I thought rape was sexy on CNN. I really don’t, but I do have a fantasy over Nick Amaro.”
Who’s Nick Amaro? Well he’s Olivia Benson’s partner in tv’s Law & Order SVU.
“As you get older, and although people say I look 39, well I get a bit dry, so we mature aged cougers as they call us, we develop a bit of a thing for younger Italian, or if not available then to a lesser extent, Mexican men.”
“It started with me watching the gardener rake those leaves so firmly, and then before I knew it, I was cruising the parking lot at Home Depot looking for firm Latin men to bring home to nail me.. I mean nail my loose floorboards back in place”.
“I’m aware that my rape accusation against Trump, is exactly the same as S13 – Ep11 of Law & Order SVU, right down to the fitting rooms at Bergdorf Goodman’s, so I thought, well, given Detective Olivia Benson has investigated other rapes of women in the change rooms at Bergdorf Goodman’s while changing into lingerie in the middle of the day when no sales assistants are around and no cameras saw anything and nobody noticed and afterwards everyone put their clothes back on and simply walked out without buying anything which attracted absolutely not attention whatsoever….I thought Olivia would be the perfect person to investigate my case given that’s precisely what happened to me with Donald Trump in those very same fitting rooms!”
“Best of all, she’ll likely have to bring that tight little Italian stud partner Nick with her, I tell you what, I may be an old girl but I sure would like to bounce a few quarters off his firm young butt, and possibly do a few lines of coke off it. Har har har har!”
I noticed that Jean pushed her top row of false teeth back into her mouth after her hearty laugh, and I told her that I think it’s really great she’s getting back on the horse again after her terrible Trump rape experience.
“Did you say horses darling? Speaking about horse fantasies, my friend owns a stallion….”